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First-time buyers need an anatomy lesson

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Registered Nurse Suzanna welcomed us "primigravidas" into class with pep, zest and enthusiasm. "A primigravida is a woman who is pregnant for the first time! Hello, all you first-timers!" Fifteen couples took seats around the lecture room. We were nervous people: husbands clicking their pen-tops, women applying lip-gloss and anxiously licking it off. But Nurse Suzanna was a professional. She was here to teach us newbies how to have a baby, and do it with aplomb. She dove right into her lesson plan fearlessly, ticking through a slideshow of images my husband might never forget, no matter how hard he tries. "And this, my friends, is a placenta." My dear husband gagged behind his hands and nearly fell out of his chair. "What the &%$*!@ is a placenta?" was, I believe, his sentiment. He decided right there and then that he would be a "Northern Territory Coach," no questions. Nurse Suzanna didn't flinch. "We are going to ma...