Outsmarting the smart home

How to find your place in an automated house

Prepare to have your brain explode.

At least, that’s the warning I’m giving my family.

Unless you are currently in sixth grade or younger, you soon will not be able to perform basic life functions in your own home. I’m serious! Want to make a pot of coffee? Well, forget about it. Because if you misplaced your phone or have 20/65 vision and can’t quite see your mobile touch-screen device, you are out of luck.

Light switches just aren’t good enough for people these days. Nope. Apparently, we require access to the International Space Station in order to turn on the fan in the bathroom. "Attention: Cosmonauts! How ’bout a little help down here!"

That’s what we have to look forward to in tomorrow’s Android-powered home. The techies may read this column and scoff at my future frustration. But they do not suffer the same aggravations that normal people encounter on a regular basis. For example, my dad recently built his "dream home."