The "Six Percent" -- a boat in Alameda, Calif.

We don't know whether this boat belongs to a real estate broker ...

Have you ever marvelled at those succinct little plot synopses in the TV listings page? They are particularly a hoot when the author has to tackle the long list of improbable events that comprise a single episode of a daytime soap opera. Here's my attempt at summarizing a little drama that played out on the Web today:

"When Carol makes fun of Kris and Steve's canned food drive, comparing the husband and wife team to Barbie and Ken, Jay calls Carol a fool, a hypocrite, and a disgrace to the real estate profession. Carol's boss Glenn fires her and apologizes to Kris but leaves the offending post for the world to see as proof of his passion for transparency."

Times may be tough for mortgage lenders, but originators with great sales chops -- or executives who control their company's purse strings -- may soon be talking their way aboard a Royal Caribbean cruise ship on their employer's dime.

The Mortgage Leader Cruise departs Miami on Feb. 22, with stops in San Juan, St. Thomas and St. Maarten.

Although a berth in the 387-square-foot grand suite with balcony will set you back $3,999 per person, you can justify the expense by pointing out the potential rewards for attending seminars like "Selling Higher Priced Products against Lower Priced Competition: Increase your sales and income immediately. Learn how to sell more, faster, easier, and at higher prices and profits – in any market!"

Given the number of lenders that went belly up making "exploding" ARM loans, you might decide not to mention another, unfortunately titled seminar when pitching the trip to your boss: "How to use the Web to Explode Your Business."

You would assume that the seminar "Save Money on Your Taxes – Big Time" will cover whether the cost of this cruise ship "conference" is tax deductible.

If $3,999 is too rich for your employer, a 317-square-foot junior suite with balcony is only $3,499 per person. If you don't mind slumming, the 214-square-foot "superior ocean view cabin" is $2,799 per person.

"Never before has there been a conference in which all of your speaker presentations, continuing education, food, entertainment and incredible excursions are included in the cost of the conference," the Web site for the cruise promises.

After all the bad press the company got when it planned to put 30 correspondent lenders up at a luxury ski resort near Vail this winter, I'm guessing the organizers aren't counting on Countrywide Financial reserving any berths.

The fact that the credit crunch is increasing the financing costs for the Mortgage Bankers Association's new 12-story headquarters in Washington D.C. has made the lobbying group an easy mark for pundits and comedians, although some have felt the need to embellish the story a bit.

The facts, according to an April 6 Washington Post story, are that the MBA is about to sign the papers to buy a new 12-story building at 1331 L Street NW for about $100 million. When the MBA announced the agreement to buy the 170,000 square foot building more than a year ago, it said it would occupy about one-third of it.

But the MBA faces a "triple whammy of woes," the Post reports: financing costs are up, the MBA's income is down, and a slow market for office space has left the group without any tenants. While interest rates on prime, fixed-rate home loans have fallen in recent months, rates on commercial loans are one to two percent higher than a year ago, and the MBA's down payment on the building has been increased by about 10 percent.

More significantly, perhaps, the MBA's membership has shrunk by about 17 percent from a year ago, from 3,000 member companies to around 2,500. The group has laid off an unspecified number of employees, the Post reports, also noting the departure of "two senior vice presidents to other jobs in the real estate industry" (that would be chief lobbyist Kurt Pfotenhauer to ALTA and chief economist Doug Duncan to Fannie Mae).

Although the facts as detailed in the Washington Post story aren't terribly funny, if you stretch them a little the Mortgage Bankers Association is an easy target.

Here's how the NPR quiz show, "Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!" played it over the weekend:

Host Peter Sagal: "Paula, The Mortgage Bankers Association in Washington D.C. is having a hard time these days doing what?"

Comedian Paula Poundstone: "Paying their mortgage?"

Sagal: "Exactly right. Finally some good news to come out of the housing market crisis. Or if not good news, at least satisfyingly sad news. The lobbying group for mortgage bankers is having trouble paying its own mortgage, after losing income and members last year. Due to chaos in the market and soaring interest rates the mortgage association is now finding it hard to refinance and secure tenants for its new building in Washington. So to avoid foreclosure, the association has moved back in with its parents."

Comedian Tom Bodett: "So who holds the mortgage on the Mortgage Bankers Association?"

Poundstone: "Probably the same company I went with, which is 'Don't ask, don't tell mortgage company.' I'm so ahead of the curve, I've gotta tell you. I lost my house years before it was the thing to do."

While comedians are allowed some leeway to stretch the facts, the MBA was not amused when CNBC's Diana Olick wrote that she was "sure there are plenty of troubled borrowers around the country who will do a bit more than chortle when they hear the story of how the Mortgage Bankers Association is having trouble paying the mortgage on its new building in downtown DC."

The MBA fired off an e-mail to Olick taking issue with the claim.

"It is simply not true," that the MBA is having trouble paying the mortgage, the group protested. "While MBA is seeing a drop in revenue (indicative of the state of the industry) and is responding with a reduction in expenses (as any responsible business would do) MBA’s financial situation remains rock solid, and will be even more so as a result of this purchase. Owning makes more financial sense than renting, especially in the District, which has one of the strongest commercial real estate markets in the country.”

If you're looking for office space on L Street, the building has its own Web site.

Taking inspiration from Athol Kay's "Bad MLS Photo of the Day" blog feature, I ran across an odd photo in the MLS today. (Imagine that!) This went beyond the usual close-up image of the property's front door, door-knocker, or horribly darkened hallway. This one was an image of a dog.... not a dog sitting in the living room of the property, or the backyard, or the kitchen, or the master bedroom, or the garage, or the bathroom.

No, this was just a close-up of a dog's face among about a dozen other photos of a listing that showed up in my email today.

I wonder if the dog knows he (or she) is being sold along with the property?

I would include the fluffy image here but it is copyrighted to the San Francisco MLS. You can see it on Redfin here.

Is it really that bad? Maybe this is the beginning of a new trend for buyer incentives.

Who says mortgage brokers don't have a creative side?

When Portland, Ore. real estate broker Jennifer Bukaty challenged Active Rain bloggers to a "Mortgage Creative Writing" contest she got a ton of entries -- many quite good. See the winners and a roundup of all the entries here.

To give you an idea of the level of competition, Walnut Creek, Calif. mortgage expert Mike Mueller cranked out a ton of mortgage-related haiku -- 17 poems in 10 days at the end of March -- landing mentions in the San Jose Mercury News and Redfin blog. For his efforts (see example at right), Mueller earned a "well-deserved" honorable mention in the contest.

The staff directory page at the Pacific West Association of Realtors shows that even typically drab Web pages with dozens of mug shots, names and titles can be fun ... and funny.

See if you can find something out of the ordinary when you peruse the management information systems staff at this site.

With a half-whimsical, half-official sounding name -- PennyMac -- plus backing from investment management firm BlackRock and a 27-year Countrywide Financial veteran, Stanford Kurland at the helm, a new company that will buy up distressed mortgages is guaranteed to at least stir up some controversy and make headlines, if not gobs of money.

PennyMac -- the Private National Mortgage Acceptance Company LLC -- is even based in Countrywide's hometown, Calabasas, Calif., and also counts former Morgan Stanley residential mortgage guru David Spector on its management team.

The housing downturn has once again proven there is no stone unturned, no one above being impacted by this mess. (OK, well if you're not planning to sell for a decade or two, paid all cash for your house and bought in the '90s you might be safe.)

Bloomberg news digs up the scoop on the value of Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke's Capitol Hill home, which he reportedly bought in May 2004 for $839,000. Almost four years later, Bernanke's home "may not be worth any more," according to local agents and real estate records.

From Bloomberg:

Bernanke's timing wasn't the best -- values in the area peaked a year later -- and he is hardly alone among Americans living in an investment that's turned cold. His situation shows that the slump that began with distress in the subprime market is now engulfing wealthier neighborhoods, including some in the nation's capital.

So it's not as if Bernanke's home value is crashing and he needs to sell now to avoid financial ruin. It just goes to show that the effects of the slump are seeping into many areas that some said it wouldn't impact.

Now maybe Barbie won't feel as bad about declining doll house values.

Thanks for the interest rate cuts Benny -- we're pulling for your home's value to stay afloat!

Although you don't hear many folks blaming the news media for the housing downturn anymore, the marketing department at Beazer Homes is hoping newsies will help turn things around -- by printing articles "written [for Beazer] by seasoned journalists in AP style."

Beazer's "SmartNews Bureau" promises editors, reporters and print publications "copyright-free content to fit their editorial needs."

Today's offering, "'Perfect Storm' Favors Home Buyers," cites a recent consumer poll "conducted on behalf of Beazer" that found 64 percent of respondents believe that it's an "ideal time to buy a home"-- if you've got good credit and a down payment.

A choice quote, attributed to Jackie Alexander, a vice president of sales and marketing:

"As spring approaches, we expect to see buyers who have been sitting on the fence begin to take action. More and more people are waking up to the tremendous buying opportunities that are out there today."

Although those words sound like they came straight from the keyboard of an ad copywriter, rather than the notebook of a "seasoned journalist" engaged in a conversation with Jackie Alexander, that doesn't mean they are not true -- especially in the five markets where the beleaguered developer is shutting down its home-building operations and selling its land holdings. Just don't try to get financing through Beazer Mortgage Corp., they might have added.

The "article" goes on to list reasons you should by a new home -- like all the money you can save on your heating and air conditioning costs (modern building codes have tougher energy efficiency requirements).