Best buyer's agent: stranger or family?

Q: Do you think it's OK to use a member of your family as a buyer's agent? What kind of problems do you think we will run into using a family member as our Realtor?

A: I am aware of the old adage cautioning against doing business with family members and friends. However, I am also aware, from personal experience, that when the stakes are as high as they are in a homebuying transaction, it is critical that your agent care intensely about you and your best interests. Who would care more than your relative?

But you are right to have concerns and to think about the pros and cons. There are a number of implications to take into consideration before working with your family member as your buyer's agent.

Mindset Management

Buying a home is essentially different from many other types of business deals in that it is not strictly business. Really, it is an exercise in picking and choosing an innumerable amount of elements about how your lifestyle will look going forward; I like to say that buying a home is one of the purest opportunities for "lifestyle design" that most of us will ever have.

Accordingly, the agent you work with is more than just a business associate, like your lawyer or CPA might be. The agent is, in an ideal situation, your trusted adviser on this endeavor of lifestyle design you are about to undertake. That means that your relationship is not just colleague-to-colleague; the best agent-client relationships are truly intimate, interpersonal interactions.

You will want to be able to trust whomever you choose as your agent with many private details about your finances, the way you and your family live on a daily basis, and even your dreams for the future.

A great agent makes an effort -- via the advice she provides and her representation of your interests in negotiations and throughout a transaction -- to be an advocate for you and your best interests. While there might be things about your family member that might get on your nerves (and she might feel the same about you), assuming that your relative is a good, competent agent, she might be a zealous advocate for your interests. I mean, you're her family! ...CONTINUED

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