Inman

Real estate sold with smile

Every profession has its humorous moments. Real estate is no exception. While not all are cause for a belly laugh, all are at least good for a smile. Here are some samples from the Real Estate Center at Texas A&M University in College Station, Texas:

A week after a for-sale sign went up in front of one house, another appeared two doors down. The neighbor in the middle said he was thinking of putting up a sign, too. It would read: “Was it something we said?”

One man who decided to sell his own house obviously wasn’t a proofreader. Or maybe the sign he put up in his front yard wasn’t a mistake after all. It read: “For Sale by Owner.” A sign on a Realtor’s marquee said: “We have LOTS to be thankful for.”

Real estate agents have to be prepared for anything. Sometimes they fall victim to Mother Nature. Sometimes they are victims of their own oversights.

One real estate agent was certain of a sale while showing a buyer a home. The buyer loved the house. When they went outside to look at the yard, however, the wind whipped the door shut, locking them out. The agent’s keys were inside, and it began to pour rain. The agent juggled doorknobs and checked for open windows. Finally, they found an open window; the agent crawled in, and retrieved the keys. Driving back to the office, the agent asked the prospect whether he liked the house.

“I liked it, but would never buy it,” she replied. “It’s too easy to break into.”

Then there was a new real estate salesperson who was showing homes to a minister and his wife. After several hours, only two houses remained, and nothing had tickled the couple’s fancy. The agent knocked on the door. No one answered. She used the lock-box key to enter the house.

Suddenly a young man came hurrying out of the bedroom, pulling up his pants. He asked why there were three strangers standing in his hallway. He and his new bride had just returned from their honeymoon, and they knew nothing of the scheduled showing. The befuddled agent hustled the reverend and his wife back to the car.

That’s when the agent realized she had listed both the newlywed’s home and the home next door, the one they were supposed to visit. Both homes had identical for-sale signs. Luckily for the agent, the minister and his wife had a good sense of humor.

Another humorous situation was an agent’s dream. The buyer was looking for a home in the $1 million range. The real estate salesperson, the couple and their dog “Sassy” rode from home to home in the family’s Rolls Royce. The agent was told Sassy had excellent taste and wherever she decided to “do her thing” would be the house they would buy.

After viewing a $1.45 million home, they returned to the Rolls and found Sassy had done her thing in the back seat. The agent reminded them of their earlier statement. They bought the house. Later, the agent brought a gift basket — to Sassy.

And here are excerpts from a collection of actual letters sent to landlords:

“The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.”

“Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.”

“I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my nob off.”

“This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.”

“I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.”

“I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.”

“Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.”

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