'War stories' of a home inspector

DEAR BARRY: My friend is a home inspector, and he sometimes tells me crazy stories about buyers, sellers and agents. I've been reading your column for years, and you've covered countless topics of interest. But you've never mentioned any personal experiences from the trenches. How about a couple of interesting stories? --Ben

DEAR BEN: I'm grinning broadly as I write this. Great question, by the way.

The main character of the first story was an apparently disturbed lady who rented the home that was scheduled for inspection. The property was in escrow and the tenant had been notified that we would need access. The property manager met me at the house, but the front door wouldn't open because the tenant had installed a slide bolt.

The manager called a locksmith, who opened the back door, but the volatile tenant was on the war path. She had locked herself in the master bedroom, and when we knocked, she threatened to call the police if we did not leave.

The inspection proceeded, but the tension in the house vibrated. Suddenly, the angry woman opened the door, locked it behind her, and declared that she would call the police from the neighbor's house. This was gratifying news, because the police would enable us to complete the inspection and eliminate the need to come back another day.

While the tenant was out, I unlocked the bedroom door with a credit card and placed my ladder in the master closet, beneath the attic access. As I inspected the attic, the disgruntled occupant returned, removed my ladder from the access, and yelled, "Get out of my house!" I told her that I could not get out because she had removed the ladder. Again, she demanded, "Get out of my house!" So I repeated that I needed the ladder in order to get out. She replaced the ladder and I came down, just as the police arrived. ...CONTINUED

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