It has been an incomparable season for primetime reality shows. First, "The Bachelor" Brad chooses a woman who wants to work on their relationship before marriage (what?), then Kirstie Alley is dumped on the ground while dancing, and then — unbelievably — Pia Toscano is booted from "American Idol." Unthinkable, people.

As if we don’t have enough to worry about (economy, Middle East, nuclear meltdown) now we must wonder why such a talented and beautiful young lady got booted off before the smirk-leaning cowboy. Some blame her ill-fitting unitard and lack of "performance."

Some say the song "River Deep, Mountain High" is too complicated in both verse and rhythm for the younger voters (honest, I read that online). Others, like me, place the blame squarely on the judges. Randy, you’ve lost your nerve. Steven, you are nothing but a colorful limerick. And "J Lo" (Jennifer Lopez), I blame you entirely for making me listen to another icky folk-version of "Maggie Mae."

Hey team, thanks for never taking a stand and telling the truth — or giving any constructive criticism to anyone! This season has been B-O-R-I-N-G, without the acerbic wit of my dear judge, Simon Cowell.

It has been an incomparable season for primetime reality shows. First, "The Bachelor" Brad chooses a woman who wants to work on their relationship before marriage (what?), then Kirstie Alley is dumped on the ground while dancing, and then — unbelievably — Pia Toscano is booted from "American Idol." Unthinkable, people.

As if we don’t have enough to worry about (economy, Middle East, nuclear meltdown) now we must wonder why such a talented and beautiful young lady got booted off before the smirk-leaning cowboy. Some blame her ill-fitting unitard and lack of "performance."

Some say the song "River Deep, Mountain High" is too complicated in both verse and rhythm for the younger voters (honest, I read that online). Others, like me, place the blame squarely on the judges. Randy, you’ve lost your nerve. Steven, you are nothing but a colorful limerick. And "J Lo" (Jennifer Lopez), I blame you entirely for making me listen to another icky folk-version of "Maggie Mae."

Hey team, thanks for never taking a stand and telling the truth — or giving any constructive criticism to anyone! This season has been B-O-R-I-N-G, without the acerbic wit of my dear judge, Simon Cowell.

Even if you absolutely hate him, you have to admit that he made you think: Can eardrums explode via TV satellite? Are cruise ship entertainers really that bad? Are they? Maybe.

Professional judges are hired for a reason: to give meaningful feedback in their field of expertise. You, my friends, as professional Realtors, are just as important to your clients as "Jenny from the Block" is to the "Idol" voting audience.

A few years ago, I was required by my brokerage at that time (I’ve since switched) to take a class entitled "By the Numbers." I’m positive half or more of you have taken this type of class before.

In essence, your production is mathematically evaluated down to the point where you are told that five personal notes, three drop-bys and 10 cold calls per day will result in six new listings and four buyers per month — which, in turn, will produce a 25 percent uptick in your annual income. If I would just dedicate myself to this program my worries would disappear!

Success would be a mathematical certainty! Oh, and to keep my past clients happy, I needed nothing more than to send them birthday cards.

Well, it sounded too good to be true. So, of course, I tried it! I happily retired my weekly listed and sold statistical updates and went to the mall to pop by my favorite Estee Lauder makeup girl. One down, two to go.

And with my buyers? Why, I just complimented them … and all the houses we looked at, of course. Even the one with half a roof. Half a roof is 100 times better than no roof at all! Heck, on a sunny day you wouldn’t even notice. And the price is right!

Armed with a positive attitude and three new tubes of plumb lipstick, I made exactly zero sales that month. And the next month. And the month after that. Hmmm, so much for birthday cards.

Oh friends, can I tell you? Sheep need shepherds, "American Idol" needs Simon, and your clients need real leadership, advice, hand-holding, and sometimes a glass of cold water across the face. Which is why we must arm ourselves with our profession’s information.

Every Realtor should know the difference between real wood and laminate flooring. You should be able to explain how a heat pump works as opposed to a gas furnace. Rapping a knuckle on the wall and saying, "Yep! Sounds good!" is a meaningless, empty compliment to a home that deserves much better.

Sales by the numbers, a singing competition without Simon … I’m done with these so-called reality shows. But wait! When does "X Factor" come on? Yeah. Then I’m back in.

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