There’s lots of buzz about attraction today. If you want to know more about how to put this principle to work in your business, today’s article will show you how.

There’s lots of buzz about attraction today. If you want to know more about how to put this principle to work in your business, today’s article will show you how.

According to the movie “The Secret,” the principles of attraction have been around for more than 1,000 years. When I first started speaking about attraction in 1997, most agents looked at me as if I had just landed from outer space. Today, attraction has gone mainstream with well-known talk hosts such as Oprah Winfrey and Larry King discussing how these principles can change your life. While there are many different versions of this model, the following approach has proven to be very effective for our clients.

Step 1: We attract who we are.

The people around us are a reflection of ourselves. This is another way of saying, “like attracts like.” If your life is in chaos, you will attract people whose lives are in chaos. People are drawn to those who share similarities. A recent training illustrates this point. In the morning, we discussed the principles of attraction. Later in the day, we did a networking session to illustrate how to be more effective at building connection when you meet someone new. The instructions were to meet two new people in the room and to find out something unusual about each one. The one question that you couldn’t ask was, “What’s unusual about you?” What was fascinating about this exercise was that most people found that they were “unusual” in the same way. For example, one woman was from a very small town in the Midwest. One of the two people she spoke with had a son living in the same small town. Virtually everyone in the room reported that they had attracted someone with whom they shared a surprising number of idiosyncratic similarities.

Step 2: Create space.

Clean your closet, clean out your files, and stop spending time with people who drain you of your time and energy. An old Chinese proverb says, “You cannot fill a cup that is already full.” Before something new and better can come into your life, you must first get rid of the old stuff that is blocking it. For example, there’s no room for a shiny new car when there’s an old, beat-up junker in the garage. Getting rid of the junker creates the space for your new car to appear.

Step 3: Be clear about what you want to attract and how you would like it to appear.

Several weeks ago I was feeling overwhelmed with preparing to list our house, hosting our first conference and beginning a five-week consulting contract. My self-talk was saying, “I don’t want to deal with this move … I wish this contract could start a week later so I would have another week to prepare … I really could use some downtime for a break.”

I attracted exactly what I asked for: I fell down and got a break — a broken arm. I could do virtually nothing to help prepare for our move, and I had to delay the beginning of my consulting contract one week so the doctor could replace my splint with a cast. The old adage that says, “Be careful what you wish for,” is a wise piece of advice. Make your wish and be sure to clarify how you want it to come to you. Visualize exactly what it is, as well as the specific details of what the experience will be like.

Step 4: Give back.

No matter how scarce things seem, each of us has things that we don’t need or use. Whether it is old clothing, household items, etc. ask, “Is there someone who needs this more than I do?” If so, give it away. If you truly have nothing to give away, read to a sick child, give someone who cannot drive a ride, or visit a shut-in. In general, the old adage “You get what you give” is true. What you give to others is almost always returned with interest.

Step 5: Take time each day to be grateful for the abundance that already exists in your life.

Even if you have an “abundance” of unpaid bills, remember your creditors had an abundance of faith you would pay them back. We often take our good health, homes, families and much more for granted. Try keeping a gratitude journal where you acknowledge at least five things per day for which you are grateful.

Step 6: Take a penny and clinch it tightly in your fist.

Is there any way for more money to come into your tightly fisted hand? In contrast, if your palm is open, there is plenty of room for the penny plus a handful of $100 bills. Quite simply, making space, giving back, being grateful, and “opening your hand” are the keys to attracting the business and the personal life that you want.

Bernice Ross, national speaker and CEO of, is the author of “Waging War on Real Estate’s Discounters” and “Who’s the Best Person to Sell My House?” Both are available online. She can be reached at or visit her blog at

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