Based on any reasonable accounting method, I am what you would call a good driver. In fact, according to public records, I am not just good — I am awesome!

Check the Carfax of my last five chariots, and you will find nary a blemish on my record. In 34 years of navigating my way from here to there and back, I have been in just one moving collision, involving a time-pressed commuter who, believing the hype about the shortest distance between two points, decided to pass me by driving over me.

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