With T-minus mere dozens of hours until the rapture comes, it’s no surprise the folks who know for a fact they’ll be left behind are trying to figure out what to do with the earthly possessions of those headed for heaven.
And is there any better outlet for the common man to air his concerns than Craigslist? We thinketh not.
A quick scan this morning turned up more than a few postings about some prime real estate opportunities that happen to be the byproduct of Judgment Day.
(Note: Punctuation has been edited in the following excerpts for readability.)
Take a link that was just covered on Curbed NY. A poor guy who wants only to trade up in life had this to say: "As someone who will not be saved I’m looking to make the most of my remaining time here. If you’re someone who will be saved and you live in a higher-end apartment in one of the more desirable neighborhoods in Brooklyn, I’d be interested in subletting until your return."
A guy asks, "Going with the rapture on Saturday?" and continues by pleading the soon-to-be-saved to leave all their stuff to him: "So if you aren’t going to need your worldly possessions — be they home, money, cars, etc. — allow them to have a good home and let caring people take them off of your hands." And then: "Serious responses only, please."
Someone here appeals to practical implications. The argument: "won’t be doing you much good in a few days." The reasonable conclusion: "So why don’t you give us your house? I would offer you cash for it, but I am sure you wouldn’t take it. What good does money do in heaven?"
Perhaps it’s time to tell the person who posted this listing that beggars can’t be choosers: "I figure if I’m left behind, I could use a place to stay, and make my last stand, what with the demons, zombies and everything else. I’d prefer a place with some land and fencing, but, I figure with enough firepower, I can have a blast going out …" Sure, buddy.
And now, a plea for commercial real estate: "We will make great use of your commercial space (especially a warehouse) to attempt to accommodate the fact that we don’t get to bask in everlasting glory."
Finally, an offer (of) some cold, hard, earthly cash: $2,000 sight unseen for your house. "This will allow you one more major blow-out party before the big man upstairs comes with his vacuum and sucks everyone up," writes the person who posted the listing, adding:
"I have $2,000 cash and will be willing to trade it, in front of a lawyer that you provide, of course, for your deed.
Granted the rapture is going to commence in approximately 48 hours, I will also accept the following goods:
- Car, 2009 or older and valued at $10,000-plus
- Trampolines (price to be determined)
- Real estate
- Boats, especially boats. Any type.
Please let me know if you have any questions!"
View the original item at Curbed.com: "Otherworldly real estate opportunities created by the rapture," by Sarah Firshein.