Today, American Express announced that the credit-card company has been converted to a bank, following the same move by Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs last month. This entitled them to receive federal financing.

GM is jockeying for federal bailout funds, and others are expected to line up for help.

Here is a fresh list of other firms and companies from the real estate world that are getting federal help

Editor’s note: The state of the economy and real estate market has got you down? Let humor serve as a temporary bailout for your dark mood. This piece is intended to tap your funny bone and return the liquidity of laughter to the marketplace. …

Today, American Express announced that the credit-card company has been converted to a bank, following the same move by Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs last month. This entitled them to receive federal financing.

GM is jockeying for federal bailout funds, and others are expected to line up for help.

Here is a fresh list of other firms and companies from the real estate world that are getting federal help (It’s our fictional take on April Fools’ Day in November.):

  • Las Vegas top producer Helen Boomster has converted her business into a bank and received federal bailout funds, which will help her afford for-sale signs and to buy Trulia ad words. She has not sold a home since 2005.
  • Orange County, Calif., mortgage broker Ted Ezzzy has converted his one-man shop to a commercial bank, which will help him close his one pending deal, a borrower with perfect credit who has 80 percent down but cannot get loan approval.
  • Zillow, HomeGain and Realtor.com have all applied to become federally chartered savings and loans so that they can subsidize clicks to real estate agents who have become banks and so they can all do inter-bank loans among themselves for fun and profit.
  • Economist Robert Shiller has converted himself to a bank so he can charge a transaction fee on every word he says about the housing bubble.
  • The California Association of Realtors has gotten a lifetime banking license for the current and all future CAR presidents so that they can legally create IRA accounts for MLS CEOs who may lose their jobs in the MLS consolidation.
  • Blogger Dustin Luther has converted himself to a commercial bank so he can start a small business loan program for bloggers who write great stuff but are tired of waiting tables at night.
  • ZipRealty has converted itself to a bank so it can start a special low-interest auto leasing financing recovery program for real estate agents who cannot afford their car payments.
  • Inman News has converted itself it to a bank so it can provide nothing-down loans to its readers to buy memberships.

In this environment, only a good laugh gets us through the day. Have you heard of anyone else converting themselves to commercial banks? We would love to hear about them.

***

What’s your opinion? Leave your comments below or send a letter to the editor.

Show Comments Hide Comments

Comments

Sign up for Inman’s Morning Headlines
What you need to know to start your day with all the latest industry developments
By submitting your email address, you agree to receive marketing emails from Inman.
Success!
Thank you for subscribing to Morning Headlines.
Back to top
Limited time: Get 30 days of Inman Select for $5.SUBSCRIBE×
Log in
If you created your account with Google or Facebook
Don't have an account?
Forgot your password?
No Problem

Simply enter the email address you used to create your account and click "Reset Password". You will receive additional instructions via email.

Forgot your username? If so please contact customer support at (510) 658-9252

Password Reset Confirmation

Password Reset Instructions have been sent to

Subscribe to The Weekender
Get the week's leading headlines delivered straight to your inbox.
Top headlines from around the real estate industry. Breaking news as it happens.
15 stories covering tech, special reports, video and opinion.
Unique features from hacker profiles to portal watch and video interviews.
Unique features from hacker profiles to portal watch and video interviews.
It looks like you’re already a Select Member!
To subscribe to exclusive newsletters, visit your email preferences in the account settings.
Up-to-the-minute news and interviews in your inbox, ticket discounts for Inman events and more
1-Step CheckoutPay with a credit card
By continuing, you agree to Inman’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

You will be charged . Your subscription will automatically renew for on . For more details on our payment terms and how to cancel, click here.

Interested in a group subscription?
Finish setting up your subscription