Real estate agents have long embraced and welcomed Halloween. After all, we open many doors every day all year long, yet the “treats” we receive are limited — especially this year.
There are so many costumes we agents would love to create and wear, if we only had respites from our open houses and showing schedules to put them together. There’s clearly no lack of inspiring material, given all the scary characters agents encounter on a daily basis.
Here are some of the more menacing and chilling ones that real estate agents are frightened by on the daily:
1. The inferior interior designer
Say hello to the inferior interior designer, whose personal choice of fashion is so repulsive that they could clearly not engender trust on the part of any client.
This costume can be created in a variety of ways, letting one’s imagination run wild.
I’m picturing stripes with plaids, mismatched socks peeking out of pink Crocs and astonishing color combinations that bring “clashing” to a new level.
The finishing touch? A copy of Elle Décor.
The “low-baller” is a buyer who figures, since the market is soft, that all their offers might as well start at 50 percent of the ask. This individual comes to the negotiation table with props like rolls of pennies, coupons and box tops and can be heard shouting: “I’ll give you half!”
3. Third broker
The “third broker” asked to take over a listing — this character brings to life the real estate adage, “You want to be the first child, the second wife, and the third broker.”
As this represents the best-case scenario for a successful sale, I’d imagine this cocky soul to be best represented by exuding “extreme blasé” — they might even be reading a romance novel and possibly eating bonbons.
In any case, they should not appear engaged. They should also probably be holding three for-sale signs, two with different agency names accompanied by descending crossed out prices and the third with their own “ask” and agency logo with the headline “Now priced to sell.”
4. Bidding warriors
Buyers and brokers who are “out to win a bidding war,” outfitted in camo, carrying mock semi-automatics and helmets emblazoned with “(PRE) WAR IS HELL!” Optional to carry grenades for any action required on high floors
5. Absent-minded architect
The “absent-minded architect,” he or she is the one carrying her four-bedroom Tribeca condo floor plan that shows no full baths and only one powder room. A copy of the Architectural Digest and a biography of Mies Van der Rohe are probably standard accessories.
6. Stubborn seller
The “stubborn seller” who won’t let any relevant comps influence his or her opinion and who adheres religiously to his original (unrealistic) price. For this get-up, I’m picturing earplugs, blinders and a big sign saying: “Price cuts be damned!”
Oh, and don’t forget to keep your arms crossed.
7. Open house daters
The individual for whom attending open houses represents a “night out.” This person should be accompanied by a date, popcorn, Junior Mints and a copy of Cheap Entertainment Weekly.
8. The kibosher
This is that noisy, obnoxious open house attendee who insists on loudly calling out all of the shortcomings of your listing within earshot of all the other attendees. This should include regalia like a megaphone as well as well-rehearsed and exaggerated expressions of disdain.
9. The under-valuer
You know this one — the appraiser who perpetually undervalues your property. This individual should wield a laser measurer, old-school measuring tape (for back-up), a T-shirt that says, “Price chopper,” and a copy of pseudo-publications such as Deal-Killer Weekly.
10. Maladroit mover
The clumsy and careless moving company employee who drops your client’s high-value treasures while moving them. This costume can be effectively created by securing any generic uniform to wear as well as transporting a vase held together by duct tape and economy size tubes of Gorilla Glue.
Get into the spirit
If you decide not to go for a real-estate themed Halloween costume, you should still enjoy the festivities like the agents and brokers below. You can bet their clients will remember their fun-loving nature long after the jack-o’-lanterns rot.
Take for example, my colleague and friend Lisa Larson. She and her husband Brad rocked it last year with their Sid and Nancy act.
Pictured here is another broker, Domingo Perez, Jr. He’s sporting his clever take on a “cereal” killer personae.
Be assured, Halloween fun is not reserved for solely the lower ranks. Below, you’ll see a 2012 award-winning portrayal of Barbara Bush by my Warburg CEO Fred Peters.
It’s easy to come up with so many others. In fact, even contemplating them is cathartic, so let your imagination soar. Keep in mind that there is no need to be afraid of insulting anyone. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?
What are you dressing up as this Halloween? Are there any costumes we’ve missed? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.