Can you use science and your understanding of the human brain to change your own behavior — and even your own feelings? Dessa, a musician who’s been singing and rapping for years, decided to try to find out when the on-and-off relationship with a perennial subject of her music became too painful and she wanted to be out of love instead of in love.

Dessa will share her story at Inman Connect New York, January 29 through February 1 at the Marriott Marquis Times Square.

“A lot of the songs I write are what might be called torch songs — pining romantic songs,” she explained. “What I hadn’t been totally frank about with my audience is that a lot of those songs were written about the same dude.”

She struggled for years to try to get over this romantic partner, with “all the usual interventions of whiskey and friends,” but nothing seemed to be working. “There were lingering feelings and we were on again, off again, for more than 12 years, but nothing really became of us.”

Then Dessa saw a TED Talk about the brain in love by Dr. Helen Fischer, a biological anthropologist. As Dessa remembers it, Fischer discussed a study where “subjects who self-reported being in love were put in functional magnetic resonance imaging (FMRI) machines. She’d show them the pictures of the people with whom they were in love, and she said there was a recognizable cortical pattern of activity — so a few specific parts of your brain light up in love, that are different than platonic love or maternal love.”

For Dessa, this was a revelation. “I thought, ‘If I can figure out where this love is in my brain, maybe I can get it out.’” So she started researching a technique, neurofeedback, that would help her accomplish this goal.

Find out how it worked — and what you can learn from Dessa’s experience to make your own real estate business stronger, only at Inman Connect New York.

Discover the opportunities in a changing market at Inman Connect New York, January 29 – February 1. Jumpstart 2019 with tactical takeaways, unlimited networking and thought-provoking speakers. Learn more.

Thinking about bringing your team? You may qualify for special group perks! Contact us to learn more.

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