Achieving a certain level of success sometimes leads to an overinflated ego. However, more often than not, that sense of self-importance can get in the way of an agent’s performance. Here are a few reasons and situations where ego hinders success.

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Sometimes when real estate agents become top producers and begin to have a lot of success, to some degree, they become numb to their processes. Because of this, they forget that at the end of the day, we are here to service and guide our clients with our expertise.

They forget that it is one thing to know the process as an expert, but it’s another thing to create ears that trust your perspective and guidance. There is no authority without trust, and without authority, you lack the ability to influence clients in a positive way.

In this article, I will cover three situations where agents let their egos get in the way, so you can recognize and overcome these obstacles.

1. The wrong mindset

You can either have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset, and whichever one you choose will determine your attitude, success and abilities.

A growth mindset means you believe in your ability to practice, try something new and overcome obstacles you’re facing. A fixed mindset, on the other hand, is limiting. A fixed mindset will only allow you to feel comfortable with the things you know best, which in turn allows your ego to get into the way.

For example, the pandemic has taken a toll on us, our communities and for many of us, our own businesses. If you went into this pandemic with a fixed mindset, your business was probably severely impacted by it. You weren’t able to get comfortable with the new normal and pivot yourself further.

If you went into this pandemic with a growth mindset, you took this new normal as an opportunity to practice and overcome this obstacle in front of you. Do you have the right mindset, or are you limiting yourself?

 2. Previous success

Feelings come first. Logic is what we look for to back up what our hearts have already decided. (I dove a little deeper into this subject in a previous Inman article of mine here.)

Has your success of listing many homes been getting in your way? Have you started to become numb to the listing process?

These homes are potentially the sellers’ pride and joy, which is why your ego gets in the way when you forget to establish and build a connection with them — and instead only focus on getting this listing up and running.

As Maya Angelou so wisely shared, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

3. The inner critic

The ego is an inner critic that constantly interjects its own opinion — whether you want to hear it or not. This inner critic swiftly becomes an outer commentator.

When we tell ourselves something enough times, it stops staying in our heads, and instead starts to impact our daily lives and connections. We start to believe it — and then we start to share it with the people around us.

For example, if team leaders start experiencing self-doubt, they may start criticizing their team members for not measuring up. Instead of “I’m not good at organization,” the story becomes, “You’re not good at organization.”

If you find you’re struggling with this critic, quiet the noise by listening and understanding where these thoughts are coming from — which just so happens to be your own insecurity.

Understand your insecurities

Building on our last point, everything comes down to our own insecurities. The presence of insecurity leads to feelings of unworthiness, which can in turn lead to negative attitudes with team members. For example, you might seem arrogant when you always try to prove to others that you’re worthy. 

If you find that your relationships with your team members aren’t working, try to understand your insecurities and how to overcome them.

The idea isn’t to remove the ego — it’s to work to understand it. Once you understand it, allow it to help your growth and your relationships at work.

How to lead  

Leaders at an organizational level have sacrificed what the average will not. They have sacrificed more because they have been misunderstood and criticized, which means they have less ego and more focus on service.

These leaders have a massive vision — and a commitment to build the best platforms to serve others. They have also spent years managing systems to support people with leverage, while creating a saleable business model, and an environment and a culture built for performance that trumps talent.

For example, as a team leader, you may be facing an agent who’s struggling to follow your systems and advice.

It’s important for your agents to let go of their ego that’s standing in their way. Agents should instead focus on the impact their experience and expertise will have on their clients when driven by their purpose.

At the end of the day, to beat your ego, you’ll need to find your purpose.

You need to power up yourself and your people so you can build the business and life that you are capable of leading — with a higher level of consciousness and confidence. This will allow you to create a better environment for your team and your clients, as you will be servicing at the highest level to everyone you come in contact with.

Kathleen Black is the CEO of Kathleen Black Coaching and Consulting in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada. Connect with her on Instagram at @kathleenblackcoaching or through her website ItTakesa.Team.

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