Authentic conversations with family and friends upfront can help new agents establish their sphere of influence and launch their real estate business.

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You are excited to start your new career as a real estate professional and want to tell all your family and friends, but how do you tell them without feeling like you are only trying to get their business?

I get it. We get asked that a lot. You don’t want to feel pushy or that you are bothering people or worst of all like you’re a salesperson. Because who wants to be “sold” these days? Not me, probably not you and most assuredly not your friends and family, right? Right. 

It feels intrusive and inauthentic because it is. What’s not, however, is just being you and being committed to serving and not selling. 

The good news is that means you don’t have to memorize a canned speech. (Nobody likes those either.) Instead, come from a place of conversation and a commitment to cultivating a relationship with other human beings. 

You can do that by being authentic, fully listening and being present in a conversation, then seeing how those conversations naturally unfold. 

Kicking off a conversation

If you are feeling stuck on what to say, here is a suggestion:

“I was talking to my real estate coach about 2022 and what we are looking forward to, as well as reflecting on all the changes in the market and in the industry. That got me thinking about my colleagues and friends, what all this change might mean for them and if there was an opportunity for me to help or serve my community. That conversation made me think of you and I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. How’s everything going? How is 2022 treating you so far?”

One thing to be aware of is this: You are going to get a very wide variety of answers here, so be prepared to hear about the highs, lows and even weird things that people have been experiencing. 

From layoffs to deaths in the family, to new opportunities, to new family members, some will be good, others will be bad and there will probably be a whole lot in between. Just focus on them and don’t bring up real estate. 

Wait, what? (Darryl, I thought this was about my new career path?) 

Not to worry, we’re getting to that. The beauty of focusing on them means that eventually they will turn the question back to you and ask how you are doing and what’s new? 

Some may already know that you have made the move into real estate and if they don’t, you can tell them how you changed careers and you are really excited to have made this move and then you can share a little about the things that you are most passionate about when it comes to being in this business like your commitment to service or a passion to help people or how awesome the whole business of real estate is. 

I mean think about it… it’s not just homes and buildings and plots of land we’re talking about here — planet Earth is a piece of real estate. That’s cool. 

Between what you are learning from them about what is happening in their lives and sharing what is going on in your life, there will probably be an opportunity to ask if there is anything you can do for them. 

Explain that in this crazy and changing market, you get a lot of questions about what those questions mean for homeowners and that they may have some of those same questions. If so, you are happy to be of service. 

Now, some of you may not have figured out what your passion is for this work. You might still be feeling your way through it all and while service and helping people might be part of it, you’ll have to do some diving in to figure out what really rings your bell about this business. 

Finding out what you are passionate about

This is going to be different for everyone, but let me share a little about how I figured it out.

When I first got into this business, I was just a kid. Nineteen years old and green when it came to what I didn’t know about being a successful agent. 

I did, however, have a great broker who took me under his wing and helped me not only learn the ropes about being a successful real estate agent, but helped teach me what I need to be a successful human being. 

I wasn’t confident in myself as a young man starting out in this industry because I had a lot of learning about life to do still. 

Some of you may feel less than confident about being a salesperson based on your own experience and comfort levels. That’s totally normal. New is new, whatever road you choose, right? 

We’re all uncomfortable in the beginning when we are trying to learn and grow. The trick is to start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable so that you can push past whatever fear you’ve got going on and get to the good stuff on the other side. 

What really helped me get a fast start and move past the lack of confidence I felt in myself is the complete confidence I had in this industry, in being a Realtor, in my brokerage and in my broker. 

Those things I believed in as well as some standing truths about the service we provide. They might be the same things that you can believe in and be passionate about as well. 

Let’s walk through five of them: 

An agent can help a homeowner get more for their home

I believed that I could help a homeowner get more for their home than they could get on their own. Why? Because statistics told me that was true and statistics still do. 

For example, the most recent Survey of Home Buyers and Sellers from the National Association of Realtors says that the typical FSBO home sold for $260,000 compared to $318,000 for agent-assisted home sales. 

An agent is like TSA for homeowners

I believed that homeowners and their families are safer when they use an agent because we screen who comes into their home. FSBOs just let anyone walk in. No security measures whatsoever. Think about that in terms of today’s world and that is really scary. 

As agents, we have apps and tools that we can use to help keep homeowners and their families (and ourselves) safer during showings, open houses and appointments. No homeowner should be trying to do these things themselves without the benefit of an agent and safety measures in place. 

You can market their home better

I knew that I had the MLS, connection to other agents, marketing tools, advertising options and the full weight of my brokerage behind me to help get a home sold for more money in less time and so do you. 

While sellers can pick and choose a few “a la carte” tools that are available to them, they don’t have the wide spectrum of resources and support that you do as a licensed professional. 

In fact, according to that same NAR survey, 34% of FSBOs don’t have any marketing tools. They need your help. Go help them.

Your broker is your business partner

I knew that I didn’t have the “real estate chops” to know everything I needed to when I started listing and selling, but I also knew that my broker did. That meant I could speak confidently about that partnership and the experience and integrity of my company when I was on a listing appointment. 

Sellers can get into a lot of hot water

I knew that sellers and buyers did not have the same level of knowledge that I had just based on training and resources to navigate the legalities that are part of a successful real estate transaction. That was true then and it is even more true today in the litigious world we live in. 

Sellers saying, “Bring me a buyer and I’ll give you a commission,” don’t even realize that is a legally binding statement. There are sellers accidentally selling their home twice and negotiating themselves right out of deals. 

From a legal and negotiation standpoint, a professional real estate agent is both an ally and advocate for consumers.

Now, start picking up the phone, connecting with people, listening for what they need and finding the ways you can help. We are in the business of serving people and coaching them to make great decisions. 

Don’t get twisted up thinking about all those canned “sales scripts” — just serve at your highest possible level. That will take you a long way in this business. 

The more conversations you have, the better you will become at them. Once you begin with your family and friends you can start expanding your circle to neighbors and colleagues and the people you do business with in your everyday life, then keep expanding. 

I want to personally say welcome to the industry and wish you well on your journey. Be patient with yourself in these early days, understand that you’ll make mistakes but that means you’re growing and keep building good practices and skills. You’ve got this.

Darryl Davis is a speaker, coach and the bestselling author of How to Become a Power Agent in Real Estate, as well as the CEO of Darryl Davis Seminars. He currently hosts weekly free webinars to help agents navigate market change and design careers worth smiling about. Learn more at www.DarrylSpeaks.com/Online-Training. Connect with him on Facebook or YouTube.

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