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When it comes to marketing your listings, a house that is not properly staged can negatively impact both your marketing as well as your brand. Instead of buyers saying, “This is it — we want to write an offer,” you hear, “We’re not even getting out of the car to look at that dump!”
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Here’s an outlandish list of staging mistakes (or lack of staging) that can definitely deter almost any buyer.
3 of my personal favorites
The showing that made my skin crawl
The most repulsive house I ever showed was tenant occupied. The tenants owned a variety of reptiles, including several very large snakes. The house was a filthy mess, there were live rats for the snakes, but the coup de grâce was the multiple snakeskins hanging on the clothesline.
‘Clyde’
“Clyde” was a large antelope skull that hung proudly above my in-laws’ living room fireplace for over 25 years. While Clyde was completely in keeping with the Santa Fe style décor, the Christmas tree tinsel hanging from his horns for years was way over the top. Surprisingly, when the family sold the house after my mother-in-law’s death, Clyde survived to take his place above a different Santa Fe fireplace.
Who cares what the CC and R’s say?
One of my current neighbors has statues scattered all over their front yard. What I’ve never seen in over 40 years in the business, however, is a cemetery-style granite marker in the front flower bed with an RIP inscription to their beloved dead dog. (I definitely don’t want to know if the dog is actually buried there.)
50+ staging don’ts
Here are several dozen more buyer turnoffs to avoid.
Curb appeal: How to kill the buyer’s interest the moment you pull up to the property
- Overgrown jungle landscaping that requires a machete to make it to the front door.
- A dead lawn that says, “I can’t be bothered with watering,” or “The sprinkler system is broken.”
- The pickup truck or large SUV is parked in the driveway because the garage is too small.
- Political signs for an upcoming election where your buyers hate the candidate.
- Dilapidated wood fence with leaning posts, missing slats and zero privacy.
Dreadful front doors
- The “Welcome” doormat that’s so beat up it dares you to walk over it without tripping.
- Peeling paint, spider webs and dead insects on the porch create that great haunted house ambience.
- There is a broken doorbell and a rusted door knocker that rubs off on your hands.
- The broken tricycle, dead plants, miscellaneous gardening tools and the hose stretched across the steps to the front porch that make you question the wisdom of continuing the showing.
- Wait — is that a wasp’s nest?
- The front door sticks so badly you need a gym membership to muscle it open.
Stomach-churning odors
- Smelly garbage cans sitting adjacent to the walkway to the front door.
- Last night’s fish dinner, Grandpa’s Old Spice collection and seven types of scented candles — who needs fresh chocolate chip cookies?
Décor disasters
- A shrine to the homeowner’s life, complete with creepy family photos galore.
- What’s that stain on the carpet — is it wine, coffee or something else?
- Damaged hardwood floors make buyers think “immediate expense.”
- Stacks of mail, overflowing countertops and dirty dishes piled everywhere — what else are they hoarding?
- Last century wooden fruit bowl, faded plastic plants, plus porcelain figurines sitting atop great grandma’s crocheted doilies — this retro is not for you.
- Mismatched furniture from five decades in a single room (shabby chic meets mid-century meltdown).
- Hobby hell: Hunting trophies, beer brewing kits and a quirky gnome collection may be the owner’s thing, but they’re definitely not buyer bait.
Kitchen killers
- An aroma cocktail of burnt toast, garlic and whatever garbage recently died in the disposal.
- Sticky countertops and mystery crumbs — is that powdered sugar, flour or a controlled substance on the glass kitchen table?
- Glistening, greased-coated cabinets and stove top — where’s the fire extinguisher?
- Fridge art overload with faded kids’ drawings, expired coupons and a takeout menu from 2013.
- Dusty top shelves are littered with gadgets, collectibles and a George Foreman grill that haven’t been dusted in years.
- Mismatched appliances, complete with an ancient refrigerator filled with suspicious Tupperware.
Bedroom bedlam
- Bedroom doubles as an office, a gym and an overflowing storage unit — perfect for restful night’s sleep.
- Closets jammed tighter than your inbox. Did you really think the buyers wouldn’t look?
- Purple master bedroom, baby pink bedspread, red heart pillows and twinkling Christmas lights around the top of the walls to set the mood throughout the year.
- The bed was unmade with stained sheets.
- Stuffed animals on the bed, dresser and nightstands with beady staring eyes.
- The mirror on the ceiling and the personal paraphernalia on the nightstand you really didn’t want to see.
Bathroom blunders
- Open house with no toilet paper. Did you really think people wouldn’t use the bathroom?
- Toilet seat up, stained toilet, with fuzzy toilet lid covers to enhance the look.
- Plunger adjacent to the toilet. Exactly how often does that toilet back up?
- Used soap bars, soggy bathmats, dirty towels, hair everywhere, gunk-covered tiles and dirty grout, proof mildew is already en route to taking hold.
- The broken exhaust fan and the stifling damp air shriek, “Is that black spot mold growing here?”
- Hemorrhoid cream on the countertop, along with the Viagra bottle you wish you hadn’t seen.
- A waste basket filled with floss picks, cleansing wipes, empty plastic bottles and used personal hygiene products.
- Gurgling noises in the plumbing you shouldn’t be hearing.
Fido’s follies
- Nothing says “welcome” like furballs drifting across the floor like desert tumbleweeds or a growling dog that won’t let you past the front door.
- Dog beds, cat trees and squeaky toys scream. Grab your inhaler now.
- The cat hiding under the bed waiting to pounce on your ankle the moment you walk by.
- Pet bowls with sloshed water and pet food strewn across the floor.
- Eau de litter box: We see it, we smell it, we’re out of here!
Backyard bungles
- Chewed through cushions on the outdoor love seat where the squirrels stole the stuffing to refurbish their nest.
- Grass in spots, hard dirt in others and weeds thriving everywhere else.
- A sandbox that is now the neighborhood litter box.
- An uncleaned grill attracts every mosquito in the neighborhood for a blood meal.
- Torn tarp disguising a half-filled, algae-infested pool.
- There was a plastic table with a broken leg, mismatched rusting metal chairs and a cracked ceramic pot filled with ugly plastic flowers.
- The splinter-laden warped wood deck had wobbly handrails and solar-powered lighting that no longer worked.
- A broken wheelbarrow, multiple cracked and broken pots, weeds in the raised beds and a forgotten tomato cage from who knows how long ago.
- Creepy shed with doors hanging off hinges, spiders, along with a family of territorial possums squatting there. What was that? Did I just hear a rattle?
The real issues with poor staging
If you’ve been in the business for any time, chances are you have seen many of the issues described above. Virtual staging is one way to show off the potential of the property.
The real problem, however, is whether you should take this listing in the first place and spend massive amounts of time trying to cope with all the issues. Besides, do you want to discover what’s lurking in that creepy, unlit basement?
Bernice Ross, president and CEO of BrokerageUP and RealEstateCoach.com, and the founder of RealEstateWealthForWomen.com is a national speaker, author and trainer with over 1,500 published articles.
