This topic got its start from a reader’s comment (I read and respond to your questions and comments, btw). We went back and forth a little bit, and she made a comment about money and needing to defend ourselves when talking about commission.
She’s right, and every agent knows the feeling. The money conversation is an uncomfortable one, and it got worse after the National Association of Realtors (NAR) settlement in August of 2024. The need for a BRBC for every buyer and “paying the buyer’s representative is optional” conversation with the seller can be like walking a tightrope at first.
And this conversation isn’t the only one that gets personal. Sellers read the settlement headlines, think the whole commission system just got optional, and the first thing they want is a discount on us. We know our worth, but it’s no fun having to defend ourselves to sellers.
Buyers, notoriously skittish, have no idea what’s happening and why they’re being asked to sign a form that puts them on the hook for actual money before they can see a property. How do we talk to them about commission without making them feel like they’re being strong-armed before they get in the car?
The answer is the same for both sides; we stop treating the conversation like we’re explaining the birds and the bees to kids and bring it into the light. Nobody gets angry when they understand what they’re paying for and why the system works the way it does.
Question: How do I answer a seller when they ask, ‘What do you do to make all that money?’
Answer: This is where I needed to have a positional shift in my thinking and not apologize because the client thinks I make too much money. They don’t know about our splits, our costs or that we see approximately 30 cents on a dollar as our net.
The best way to handle this objection is to come prepared. Know what you do, know what they are paying you for, and be able to explain it in plain terms. I wrote a script when I was new because every time I was asked the question, I choked.
We get paid to deliver results, not hours. The fee is a share of the outcome, not an hourly wage for the work. I like to give them an overview of my actual out-of-pocket costs to list their house — all actual marketing and propaganda we pay out of our pocket — from eblasts and brochures to photos and websites.
Then walk them through the actual job, because sellers don’t know what we do. Remember Million Dollar Listing? Sellers do.
Include pricing strategy, marketing, showings, disclosure management, inspection negotiation, appraisals, financing troubleshooting, escrow coordination and keeping a transaction that can fall apart 17 different ways from falling apart.
Question: What do I say when a buyer balks at signing the BRBC before touring?
Answer: I had a real problem with this when it was first required. My first instinct was to not get one signed and figure it out later — which was completely wrong. I hated everything about the BRBC; however, I grew to appreciate it.
The first thing to do is talk about the fee immediately because that is the real objection. Consumers don’t think highly of agents for a reason — c’mon now you know we’re still overcoming the “used car salesman” reputation — and buyers are terrified of paying our fee on top of the down payment. So get there first.
Be upfront:
“Our industry has had a reboot to increase consumer transparency. Listing agents need to get sellers to sign a contract to sell a house, and buyer’s agents now need to sign an agreement to show one.”
Then close with a script:
“It is still the norm for the seller to cover my fee — we will negotiate that into the transaction so it does not come out of your pocket. I put this BRBC together for the property we’re looking at today.
“How these work is If you end up buying this property with another agent, I’ll end up getting a commission for the deal because I showed it to you first and have this to prove it. I only get paid if you close on a property I show you and I don’t get paid unless you close on a property I work on for you.”
Question: How do I talk about commissions with a client who’s clearly cash-strapped and embarrassed?
Answer: This is common, and it is not just common — it is the reality for a lot of sellers. Not every listing’s seller is able to pay to prep the property for market, stage it, paint it and fix every squeaky door.
Some sellers are selling because they are divorcing, downsizing after a death or behind on the mortgage. Cash is tight, and they know it, and they are embarrassed about it.
Your first job is to take the shame off the table and then get practical fast. Action kills embarrassment. Remind them that your fee comes out of the proceeds. I always advocate for a procuring agent commission.
It’s important that listing agents get paid and equally important that buyer’s agents get paid. If the buyer’s agent is not compensated, the number of prospects for the property immediately plummets. A 2025 Iowa Law Review study found that homes offering low buyer agent commissions take 33 percent longer to sell and face a 75 percent greater risk of never selling at all.
Each week in America Answers, Inman contributor America Foy answers questions from the industry at large and offers advice on how to handle the situation.
Have questions? Email America Foy
America Foy is a broker associate at The Grubb Co. Get connected on LinkedIn and Instagram.
