The WomanUP! Conference, which took place last week, was jampacked with insights and inspiration for agents. Here are 10 important takeaways agents should consider when making a survive-to-thrive mindset shift.

Have you allowed pandemic-related fears and challenges to impact your mindset? Would you like to move past the fear and take action anyway? If you’re ready to move from surviving to “sur-thriving” in your business, here are ten insider tips from last week’s WomanUP! event to help you make the shift.

One of the biggest surprises from this year’s WomanUP! Conference was how many women had discovered there were silver linings from the pandemic. Their families grew closer. They had time to pursue new interests and hobbies, as well as time to carefully evaluate where they could improve their business. In other words, they made a conscious decision to “sur-thrive,” no matter what happens. 

If fear is holding you back in any area of your life, take a deep breath, consider the options, and then choose the best response. Here are 10 steps you can take to create a “sur-thrive” mindset.

1. Dump the ‘Twinkies’

Eating a whole box of Twinkies in a single sitting certainly doesn’t support you physically. When it comes to creating a sur-thrive mindset, what “twinkies” (fear, worry, anger, etc.) have you let in? 

Jennifer Berman, co-founder of Berman and Pollinger, said the process of creating a positive mindset begins by asking three questions: 

  • What’s your intent?
  • What’s your focus? 
  • What’s your purpose for you and for your life?

When you can answer these questions, you will know what type of client you will attract.

2. Like Covid-19, ‘toxic’ is infectious

There’s a coaching principle that says, “You attract who you are.” Take a hard look at the type of clients you’re attracting right now. 

If you’re attracting chaotic people, either there is chaos in your life you need to eliminate, or you said “yes” to a client when you should have said “no.” Escape from the toxic people in your life — it matters to both your physical and mental health. 

3. Understand which social media platforms support you to ‘sur-thrive’

More than ever, pay close attention to what you post on social media. According to Berman, it’s important to recognize the types of audiences various social media platforms attract. For example, LinkedIn is all business, even for millennials who know they need to be there. Instagram is personal and fun.

On the other hand, Facebook and Twitter have shifted. Berman spent 20 years working with the Millionaire Real Estate Agent shows and was the manager of Hilton & Hyland, one of the top luxury brokerages in the world.

From working so closely with these celebrities, she said she learned to leave Facebook and Twitter to the politicians. Stay out of it no matter how much of a diehard you are for your side of the aisle. Screaming at someone on social media can quickly destroy both you and your business. She said that while it’s one thing to have a private conversation offline, the damage can’t be undone once it’s posted online. 

Berman knows firsthand — she has helped the agents she worked with extricate themselves from the career-destroying messes they created with a single social media post.

Remember, politicians come and go. In contrast, many of the same real estate agents and homeowners will still be in your community 20-30 years from now. 

4. Build your business on your strengths

Lesley Everett, keynote speaker and brand strategist, strongly urged agents to seek the help of a coach or someone else they trust to help them identify their strengths. As she explained, you can’t see the label from the inside of the bottle.

Strengths include what you do well naturally. Consequently, you may not recognize some of your strengths because they are so easy for you. Everett advised to ask others what you do well, especially if it’s something that differentiates you from others. As my friend Joeann Fossland says, “No one ever got to the top by developing their weaknesses.” 

5. Focus on how you make them feel 

According to Everett, today’s clients care most about the end result, not necessarily what you have to do to create that result. To strengthen your connection, strive to discover their fears and challenges, and then be a solution to their problems. 

Kendall Bonner, Esq. and broker-owner of RE/MAX Capital Realty summed it up by saying, “How you make people feel is what makes them talk about you.” 

Focus on what’s personal and relevant to your clients, and search for the value you can bring to them. As Tami Bonnell observed, value equals income.

6. Focus on short-term opportunities

Everyone recognizes the importance of having a written business plan. Nevertheless, Sherry Chris, CEO of Realogy Expansion Brands, advised the WomanUP! audience to seek short-term business opportunities due to today’s rapidly shifting market. At the top of the list is any activity that generates salable listings. 

Chris went on to say that long-term planning will make a comeback, but for the immediate future, a more short-term focus will probably serve you best.

7. Change your tactics, not who you are

Julie Del Santo, broker-owner with the Dudum Real Estate Group, advised agents to stay true to who they are. She urged them to do their best to stick with their business plan by changing tactics, not the plan itself. 

For example, if you had a client appreciation event scheduled this fall, and you can’t be there face-to-face, shift it to a drive-through event instead, she said. 

8. How to create a happiness mindset

Valerie Alexander led a powerful session on how to create a happiness mindset. She began by explaining how repetition creates and then strengthens neural pathways. 

When you’re feeling unhappy, immediately identify five things that make you happy in this moment, she recommended. It can be simple things, such as “I slept well last night,” “the sun is shining,” or how good breakfast was that morning. 

According to Alexander, repeating this process whenever you feel unhappy becomes a “signal booster” that strengthens the neural pathway. It also disrupts any unhappy feelings you may be experiencing.

9. Rid yourself of the ‘I-didn’t-get-anything-done-today’ mindset  

Have you ever said, “I didn’t get anything done today”? In most cases, this statement is false. To train your brain to laser-focus on what matters most, take the following steps: 

  • Write down the most important thing you have to accomplish on a post-it note either the night before or first thing in the morning. Stick it where you can see it while you’re working.
  • Once you complete the task, take the post-it note and put it in your “completed” container, and celebrate completing the task.
  • At the end of the day, take the note from its container, crumple it up, and throw it away. 
  • This does two things. First, it ends the day for your brain. Second, it’s a reminder that you did accomplish the task that mattered most today.

10. Pithy advice for strengthening your ‘sur-thrive’ mindset

  1. When you begin each day, ask yourself, “What would it take to make today a ‘wow’ day?”
  2. Write down your vision, and record it on your cell phone. Listen to it daily, and actively pursue it.
  3. The task is to ask, “How can I help you?”
  4. If you’re procrastinating, ask yourself, “If not now, when?” 
  5. Remove the word “impossible” from your vocabulary and replace it with “I’m possible.” 

A final piece of advice from Del Santo for when you’re facing an illness or another difficult situation? When it comes to “illness,” drop the “i” and replace it with “we.” Shift from “illness” to “wellness.” 

She went on to draw an analogy about sunflowers. She said that when the sun is shining, the sunflowers turn towards the sun. When it’s cloudy or rainy, they turn to each other. It’s how they thrive, not just survive.

Bernice Ross, President and CEO of BrokerageUP and, is a national speaker, author and trainer with over 1,000 published articles. If you’re ready to List & Sell Real Estate Like Crazy, learn more about how to do it If you’re a new agent who wants to successfully compete even against even the best agents, check out our online new agent sales training at 

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