Are you tired of being told you need to manage your time more efficiently, prospect harder or buy more leads to increase your income? There is an easier way that has nothing to do with working harder, and Bernice Ross has seen it work for thousands of agents over the past 25 years. Here’s what you should know.

Are you tired of being told you need to manage your time more efficiently, prospect harder or buy more leads to increase your income? There is an easier way that has nothing to do with working harder — it’s called the “Law of Attraction.”   

I first learned about the Law of Attraction 25 years ago when I was studying for my Master Coach Certification. Since then, I’ve seen thousands of agents and people from all walks of life apply these principles to build their businesses and have happier and more fulfilling lives. Here are the five steps to follow. 

Step 1: Create space

Have you ever noticed that when you plan a vacation that your business picks up a few days before you leave? If you want to attract more business, you must first create enough space for that business to come in. 

A good way of looking at this is that if your garage is packed with junk, there’s no room for a shiny new red convertible. Consequently, clean your closet, clean your desk, get rid of what you’re not using, dump those clients who are a nightmare to work with — it makes no difference where you begin. 

To illustrate this point, earlier this year, I took 24 days off to do a transatlantic cruise from Buenos Aires to Barcelona. I was surprised that I did not see any change in my business.

While we were in the middle of the Atlantic, however, I received weird Facebook message that was from “Facebook User.” I thought it might be a scam, but because it came through Messenger, I replied and asked who was trying to contact me. 

It turned out to be the best business lead I ever received, an ideal fit between the services my company provides and what this organization wanted and needed.

Step 2: Have clarity about what you want to attract

If you haven’t made an ideal client list, it’s time to start one now. It should have a minimum of 50 characteristics that your ideal client will have. 

The coach who introduced me to this approach had generated $300,000 in profits for his business in only six months. When I asked about how he became successful so quickly, he replied: “I made an ideal client list. It was 15 pages long right down to the type of belt and tie my ideal client wore.” 

When I asked if his ideal client had shown up in his business his answer was, “No, but a lot of his brothers and sisters sure have.” 

Step 3: Social ties impact who and what you become 

You may have heard the Jim Rohn quote, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” 

David Burkus wrote in this Medium post:  

Audit the people around you. Make sure that you’re spending time with people who are in line with what you want for your own life (preferably people “better” than you so it raises your average). It’s compelling. It’s provocative … But that influence doesn’t stop anywhere near the five people you spend the most time with. It’s far more dispersed and research suggests it includes people you haven’t even met yet.

The New England Journal of Medicine reports: “A person’s chances of becoming obese increased by 57% (95% confidence interval [CI], 6 to 123) if he or she had a friend who became obese in a given interval.” 

It goes on to conclude that obesity appears to spread through social ties. Whether it’s physical, emotional or professional, evidence suggests that those we spend time with impact us in ways large and small.

Step 4: Giving and receiving 

Many agents regularly give back to others, often to their own detriment. Moreover, when someone offers to buy them lunch or to help them in some other way, they usually say “no.” 

Bob Burg and John David Mann in their classic book The Go-Giver, outline their “Five Steps to Stratospheric Success.” Step 5 is the most difficult for almost everyone: You must not only be willing to give, but you must also be willing to receive because giving and receiving work hand-in-hand. 

When you say shrug off a compliment, turn down a request to let someone buy you lunch, or refuse to accept help even when you need it, you’re shutting down your own receiving process. The reason? You’re preventing another person from giving back and, hence, from receiving from others. 

Please note that the person or cause that you give to is not usually the same place where someone else will give to you. For example, an agent decided to ditch his online leads program and donate the money to a local foodbank instead. He also volunteered there with his daughter one day a week. Over the next six months, his business increased 15 percent. 

Step 5: Express gratitude

The entire advertising industry is dedicated to making experience a sense of lack that will motivate you to purchase their products or services. This, in turn, can result in anger, disappointment, frustration and even depression.

In contrast, expressing gratitude for what you do have immediately eliminates all these negative emotions. The reason is your brain can only experience one emotion at a time. 

I remember leading a training class where we were discussing how attraction works. One of the coaches made the following observation: How can I ask God for more if I don’t appreciate what I already have?

Lack and abundance are both mindsets. 

To illustrate this point, in April we were in Praia, Cape Verde, an archipelago off the coast of Africa that averages less than an inch of rain per year. All the passengers I spoke with about their experience only saw “extreme poverty.” 

We had an entirely different experience. We spent nine hours on an incredible excursion where our guide constantly expressed her sense of abundance:  

If I have one room, I really have two rooms — one to live in during the day and one to sleep in at night. If we have our independence, a plot of land, a few seeds, and a little water to grow our food, we have everything. When life sends us troubles, we dance them away.

She went on to explain why most houses on the island are unfinished: 

When we buy a house, the loan is never enough to finish the house, so we fix the inside of the house first. While the house is still under construction, we only pay taxes on the land. 

An excellent way to increase your sense of abundance is to keep a gratitude journal. Each day record 10 things for which you are grateful. Moreover, when something goes wrong, rather than becoming depressed, angry or frustrated, read your gratitude journal, or better yet, add to it. Remember, your brain only can process one emotion at a time. 

Following the five simple steps above can totally transform both your business and your life. Try this approach for 90 days, and don’t be surprised when the magic happens.

Bernice Ross, president and CEO of BrokerageUP and, is a national speaker, author and trainer with more than 1,000 published articles. Learn about her broker/manager training programs designed for women, by women, at and her new agent sales training at

| new agent
Show Comments Hide Comments
Sign up for Inman’s Morning Headlines
What you need to know to start your day with all the latest industry developments
By submitting your email address, you agree to receive marketing emails from Inman.
Thank you for subscribing to Morning Headlines.
Back to top
Only 3 days left to register for Inman Connect Las Vegas before prices go up! Don't miss the premier event for real estate pros.Register Now ×
Limited Time Offer: Get 1 year of Inman Select for $199SUBSCRIBE×
Log in
If you created your account with Google or Facebook
Don't have an account?
Forgot your password?
No Problem

Simply enter the email address you used to create your account and click "Reset Password". You will receive additional instructions via email.

Forgot your username? If so please contact customer support at (510) 658-9252

Password Reset Confirmation

Password Reset Instructions have been sent to

Subscribe to The Weekender
Get the week's leading headlines delivered straight to your inbox.
Top headlines from around the real estate industry. Breaking news as it happens.
15 stories covering tech, special reports, video and opinion.
Unique features from hacker profiles to portal watch and video interviews.
Unique features from hacker profiles to portal watch and video interviews.
It looks like you’re already a Select Member!
To subscribe to exclusive newsletters, visit your email preferences in the account settings.
Up-to-the-minute news and interviews in your inbox, ticket discounts for Inman events and more
1-Step CheckoutPay with a credit card
By continuing, you agree to Inman’s Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

You will be charged . Your subscription will automatically renew for on . For more details on our payment terms and how to cancel, click here.

Interested in a group subscription?
Finish setting up your subscription