March is Marketing and Branding Month here at Inman. As we enter spring selling season, let’s explore which tried-and-true tactics and cutting-edge innovations are getting deals done in today’s market. We’ll also recognize the industry’s marketing and branding leaders with Inman’s Marketing All-Star Awards.
This post was updated Mar. 4, 2025.
A wife, struggling with a virus, decided it would be best to not talk. At home with her husband for the day, she managed to keep silent. Finally, at dinner time, the husband looked at her and said, “What did I do? Why are you mad at me?”
“I’m not angry with you,” she said, “I have a sore throat, and it hurts to speak.”
Where there is an absence of communication, we tend to imagine “worst-case” scenarios. This is affirmed by Amir Ghannad, in his LinkedIn post, “No Communication is Worse Than Poor Communication,” in which he explains, “When there is lack of communication, we assume the worst. In the absence of information and feedback, we make up our own stories, and they are usually disempowering as we assume the worst so that we can prepare ourselves for it.”
Agents must learn the importance of observing and anticipating their clients’ needs in the absence of traditional communication. Here are four essential soft skills that every pro needs in their customer service toolbox.
Relationships are built with communication
Jon Gordon, in his book Soup: A Recipe to Create a Culture of Greatness, follows up on this idea, stating, “When there is a lack of communication, there will be a void, and that void will usually be filled with negativity.” He clarifies, “Relationships fall apart when there is a lack of communication.
When there is a void of clear, positive communication, fear and negativity start to creep in, and we start to assume the worst and act accordingly. This leads to a lack of trust, which leads to a lack of focus, teamwork and success.”
The psychology behind this reality is quite simple: When there is no communication, our mind assumes something is wrong and begins to set the stage for bad news. By migrating to a negative scenario, our brains pre-imagine bad news so as to be fully prepared when it actually arrives. In essence, it lessens the shock and makes the news, when it lands, more palatable.
Are you there?
If, as an example, you are dating and the other person suddenly stops answering their phone or responding to texts, it does not take much effort to jump to the conclusion that you are being dumped. When the reality of that fact is finally delivered, the blow is easier to accept because your mind has already preprocessed the possibility.
Most of us have experienced something similar at some point in our life, so you know the reality of this truth. While the bad news can be extremely difficult to bear, contrast that with the sudden news that a loved one has unexpectedly died.
To explain the difference in another way, if a person passes after a long, protracted illness, the effect of the death on your emotions is significantly different than if you are suddenly notified that they were killed in a tragic event. With the long illness, you are prepared for the inevitable and respond dramatically differently than if bad news arrives out of nowhere.
I have seen this scenario play out many times in my marriage, with friendships, in teams, with clients and more. There is an innate tendency in all of us to automatically, for self-protection, migrate to the worst-case scenario when someone around us does not actively engage in communication. Left long enough, any semblance of a meaningful relationship can die altogether.
Silence speaks volumes
The irony here is that this is common knowledge — so much so that we weaponize it. We all know the impact of “a cold shoulder.” We’ve also heard of, “The silent treatment,” defined by Google AI as “the act of intentionally withholding communication or refusing to speak to someone as a way to express anger, disapproval, or to manipulate them, essentially punishing them by ignoring their attempts to engage in conversation; it’s considered a form of passive-aggressive behavior and can be categorized as emotional abuse when used repeatedly to control another person.”
This is the rationale behind solitary confinement. An example of this comes from the infamous Hanoi Hilton prisoner of war camp where prisoners were isolated in solitary confinement to break their spirits. In response, the captives used a tapping code with other inmates to communicate, thereby maintaining morale and creating a lifeline that sustained them through almost unimaginable circumstances. In the case of their imprisonment, no communication could spell the end of hope, which could easily migrate to insanity and even death.
The truth is simple: If the lack of communication can lead to negative thought patterns which can in turn undermine relationships, then even minimal interaction can go a long way to keeping relationships healthy and alive.
In the case of the wife mentioned at the beginning of the article, a simple, “My throat hurts — I’m going to try to not talk today,” would have removed any doubt on behalf of the husband and would, instead, have built camaraderie and even compassion, thereby strengthening the relationship.
Making assumptions
The same applies to teams: Think of assumptions you may have made when you did not hear from a team member for a period of time.
While we can easily understand how this issue can affect personal relationships, failure to understand this reality can have significant negative impacts on business relationships. First of all, if someone is unwilling to stay in constant communication with their sphere of influence or past clients, negativity can build on both sides.
Your past client can quickly assume you were only interested in them to make a buck and, should the need arise, will look for someone else with whom to transact any future business. You, on the other hand, since you have not been checking in on a regular basis, assume the worst about the relationship, making it even harder to reach out as time progresses.
This is one of the foundational truths behind call reluctance: You hesitate to call someone because you assume you will get bad news when you finally connect. It is easier to live with your pre-supposed ideas of what they might be thinking than to make the call and actually experience your fears.
As I said earlier, even poor communication is better than no communication at all: It exposes the reality of the situation and, frequently, the other person is delighted that you made the effort to reach out to them.
Reach out
The only solution is to bite the bullet and reach out. As I have discovered, more often than not, they are delighted you took the time to touch base. If, on the other hand, your fears become reality and they want no further communication, you now know the truth and can remove them from your database and move on.
That truth can set you free from any potential worry you may have had concerning that relationship and remove any emotional burden you may have been carrying. It is literally a win-win for all parties involved. Seeing it from this perspective, you have absolutely nothing to lose by reaching out, even if it has been a very long time since your last interaction.
The second area of business this affects is within real estate teams.
Healthy teams rely on constant communication to maintain the organization’s health, and when communication breaks down, negativity can soon be the result. If it’s allowed to continue and fester, it can dramatically undermine a team’s effectiveness and destroy any positive culture the leadership is hoping to establish.
The 4 C’s
To combat the negativity that automatically flows from a lack of communication, Jon Gordon has developed The 4 C’s.
To build a strong team, family and organization, you need to have great relationships. To have great relationships, you must invest your time and energy in your relationships. To help you do this, I want to share 4 C’s to improve your relationships and team.
These are so good, I am quoting them in their entirety:
- Communicate: Communication builds trust. Trust generates commitment. Commitment fosters teamwork and teamwork delivers results. It all starts with great communication. Unfortunately, many relationships and teams suffer from poor communication. A lack of communication leads to voids, and where there is a void in communication, negativity will fill it. We must make time to communicate consistently and constantly in order to fill the void. In a world filled with busyness and stress, it takes more time to communicate collectively as a team and individually with your team members, but when you slow down and do this, you build stronger relationships and stronger teams.
- Connect: Communication begins the process of building trust but connection is where a bond of trust is created. Connecting is essential because you’ll never have commitment without connection. If you want a committed relationship and a committed team, you must make the time to connect with them. A quick tip is to intentionally connect with one person on your team or one person you lead each day. It doesn’t have to take a long time. Even 10 minutes will make a difference. Ask them how they are doing and really listen. Have a meaningful conversation. Ask how you can help them. If every leader and team member did this, we would have much stronger teams. Also make time to connect at home. My wife and I take walks at night as a way to talk and connect. We pray together before bed. When my children were younger, we had family meetings each Sunday. My children are now in college and I use Snapchat (I only use Snapchat for my family) to send them videos and chat with them, as well as Facetime.
- Commit: Everybody wants their team members to be committed, but if you want commitment from others you have to show your commitment to them. It starts with you. I asked a coach, a business leader, and a school principal when your team became great. They all said when we served each other instead of ourselves. Commitment always looks like service and sacrifice. Commit to your team by finding ways to serve them and make them better. In fact, start by picking one thing you will do to be a better team member. When you commit to your team members and team you demonstrate that WE is more important than me, and you become the leader and team you are meant to be.
- Care: If you knew someone cared about you and had your back, would you be more open to their feedback? Of course you would. And it’s the same with your team members. When people know you care about them, they will be more likely to care about you and what you have to say. The often used quote “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care” is so popular for a reason. It’s true. Don’t just show up and go through the motions. Instead, show your team members that you care about them. When you care you build a team that cares. A team that cares builds greatness together.”
Communication is proactive. It takes effort. It does not need to be fancy, however: A short text or quick call can go a long way in providing critical information, thereby removing any negativity that otherwise might begin to accrue. It is one of the few things we can do in life that takes minimal effort but can lead to life-transforming results.
Carl Medford is the CEO of The Medford Team.
