Several years ago, I sold a home during my divorce. Like many homeowners experiencing a major life transition, I wasn’t solely focused on driving the absolute highest possible sales price.
Of course, achieving strong value mattered. It always does. But I also had children, pets and a family working through a difficult chapter. I wanted a process that minimized disruption and created as much stability as possible for everyone involved.
Instead of leading with a predetermined playbook, my agent started by understanding my priorities. They built a plan around what mattered most to me and my family, which included listing our home privately.
Lead with people
Lately, there’s been no shortage of debate around seller choice, private listings and where listings should appear. But when I think about seller choice, I don’t start with listings. I start with people.
As an industry, we’ve become increasingly hyperfocused on the mechanics of marketing homes. Our clients, meanwhile, are focused on something entirely different: their lives.
They’re navigating divorce, retirement, financial changes, growing families, estate sales, relocations and countless other circumstances that shape what success means to them. Quite often, and during one of the largest transactions they’ll ever make, they’re simultaneously experiencing big emotions like grief, fear, uncertainty, excitement and anticipation.
That’s why the conversation around seller choice is so vitally important. Not every seller wants the same outcome. Not every property requires the same strategy. And not every path to a successful sale looks the same.
I learned that firsthand.
Ask, then listen
My experience with selling my home taught me something I still believe today: A good agent doesn’t start by telling a seller what the strategy should be. They start by understanding what’s happening in that seller’s life and what they’re trying to accomplish. They begin by asking thoughtful questions and, most importantly, listening.
Today, my home is a unique property in downtown Dallas. Technically it’s a townhome, but it lives more like a single-family home. It has characteristics that are difficult to replicate in the market, including no shared living walls, significantly more space, a large backyard and a pool.
When I eventually sell this home, I’ll want a strategy that’s built around the property, not a standard framework. It’s a rare home, and I’ll want to be thoughtful about how it’s priced, positioned and marketed to potential buyers. When my home is introduced, I want it to make a good first impression because a home only enters the market for the first time once.
The way buyers perceive a property during those early stages can influence everything that follows. That’s why sellers should have meaningful conversations with their agents about how their home is introduced to the market, what feedback they’re seeking and what goals they’re trying to accomplish.
Sellers are also buyers
There’s another reason I think this conversation is more nuanced than some people make it out to be: I’m also a buyer.
Today, I’m investing in real estate alongside my sons, and when we look at properties, we look at all the same things most buyers do.
- How long has it been on the market?
- Have there been price reductions?
- Has the strategy changed over time?
Those factors absolutely influence how we think about value and what we may be willing to offer. That’s neither good nor bad; it’s just how buyers behave.
Every seller’s decision sends a signal to the market. The best agents understand that and help their sellers think through how buyers are likely to react. Buyer behavior needs to be part of every seller’s strategy.
That’s what I believe this debate should really be about. Not whether one marketing approach is universally better than another. Not whether every listing should follow the same path. And not whether the industry can identify a single definition of success.
Seller strategy differs with every client
What I’ve learned is that not every seller needs to make every decision on Day 1. Sometimes there is value in taking a measured approach, gathering feedback, understanding how buyers respond and then deciding what comes next.
Other times, broad exposure right out of the gate may be exactly the right strategy. The point isn’t that one approach is always better than another. The point is that sellers should have options and guidance from an agent who understands their goals.
At the end of the day, seller choice isn’t about control or power, as some critics have suggested. It’s about taking the time to understand the homeowner, the property and the purpose. The best agents do that every day. They help sellers weigh their options, understand the tradeoffs and curate a path that’s appropriate for them. They center around the client.
Because I worked with an agent who understood this when I was selling my home, we ultimately achieved a full-price offer. But what I remember most isn’t the price we received. I remember having an agent who listened first.
One who understood that success wasn’t just about maximizing dollars; it was also about minimizing disruption for my children during a difficult transition. We protected their routines, reduced unnecessary stress and preserved a sense of stability when our family needed it most.
That’s why seller choice matters. It’s about giving homeowners the ability to pursue the outcome that best serves their lives. That’s what representation is all about.
Alex Vidal is the president of ERA Real Estate.
