Whether you’re a newbie agent or an experienced veteran, rejection can still hurt. If you want to get better at dealing with it, reframe and repurpose it to take the sting out. Here’s how.

Christy Murdock Edgar is a regular Inman contributor who writes about news, tech and marketing. She has two recurring columns, “Lessons Learned” and “Dear Marketing Mastermind that publish weekly and monthly on Mondays and Tuesdays respectively.

Whether you’re a rookie agent, a rising team leader or an established veteran broker, we can all benefit from sharpening our skills. Follow our “Back to Basics” series to learn fundamental strategies, tactics, philosophies and more from real estate pros across the industry.

In my Lesson Learned columns, I always ask about specific experiences that helped teach the agents I profile something new and important. Almost all of the stories they tell have to do with rejection of one sort or another.

Maybe their best friend used a different real estate agent. Maybe they were let go by an unreasonable client. Maybe they had a deal go sour. For real estate professionals, rejection is a built-in part of the job.

Whether you’re a newbie agent or an experienced veteran, rejection can still hurt. If you want to get better at dealing with it, reframe and repurpose it to take the sting out. Here’s how.

1. See it as a learning opportunity

If you got an offer rejected, that’s a good chance for you to do some research on pitching, negotiation strategies and other ways of making your offers more appealing.

Reach out to the listing agent for feedback on the offer itself and the way it was communicated. Work with a mentor to re-evaluate your presentation and strategize for next time.

When you’re frustrated by a loss, you might feel like it’s all the other person’s fault. That kind of thinking will keep you bogged down in resentment. Turn that setback into an opportunity for growth and advancement by learning something new.

2. Let it motivate you

Lost out to a competitor for that new listing? Someone close to you chose another agent? Lost a client because the two of you just weren’t on the same page? These setbacks can be painful, but you have control over how you respond to them.

Maybe you need to improve your skills to make you more marketable. Maybe you need a new designation to polish your credentials. Maybe you need a new website or to start creating content to raise your profile in your local market.

Turn your frustration into motivation, and improve yourself and your services in the process.

3. Build resilience

Discomfort is the key to growth. If you’re trying to get fit, you have to experience the discomfort of pushing yourself to run further or lift more.

If you’re trying to get better at keeping your temper, you need to be in situations that push your buttons. If you’re trying to become a better real estate agent, you need to face situations that are frustrating or even upsetting.

In the face of rejection, you have the option of crumbling or the option of getting stronger. Choose to channel that rejection into cultivating the ability to bounce back.

Use meditation, positive affirmations and other healthy coping mechanisms to turn rejection into new levels of empowerment.

4. Create new options

Maybe this rejection is teaching you that you need to course correct. Maybe you need to consider working with a different niche.

Perhaps you need to update your branding and marketing. Maybe you’ve been drifting a bit and need to get some additional training and get more focused. It could be that a new mentor or coach would be helpful in defining your processes and keeping you accountable.

An honest assessment of rejection should give you a sense of how it happened and how you can make your real estate career work in new ways because of it.

When you get a handle on rejection, you’re the one in the driver’s seat. In fact, you might find that this rejection ends up being the best thing that ever happened to you.

How do you stay ahead in a changing market? Inman Connect Las Vegas — Featuring 250+ experts from across the industry sharing insight and tactics to navigate threat and seize opportunity in tomorrow’s real estate. Join over 4,000 top producers, brokers and industry leaders to network and discover what’s next, July 23-26 at the Aria Resort. Hurry! Tickets are going fast, register today!

Thinking of bringing your team? There are special onsite perks and discounts when you buy tickets together. Contact us to find out more.


Christy Murdock Edgar is a Realtor, freelance writer, coach and consultant with Writing Real Estate in Alexandria, Virginia. Follow Writing Real Estate on Facebook or Twitter.

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